I will share you a way that I just found out how you can make a valid reason not to lend your hard-earned money to anybody. Yes, that’s right. Not to anyone, not even with your family, your friends or anybody who desperately need money!
But before that, I will share you about the story of the scorpion and the frog. Here it is…
My version of the story of the scorpion and the frog
One day, a scorpion is so bored in his life and went out for a walk. He went so far until he reached the bank of a river. He saw the other side to be very beautiful. He wanted to go to the other side but he cannot find a way. He is a scorpion, he cannot swim.
Then the scorpion saw a frog preparing to swim across. He engages to a conversation.
“Mr. Frog, I see that you are going to cross the river”, said the scorpion.
“Yes, sir, I am”, replied the frog.
“I want to go to the other side, too, but I’m a scorpion. I cannot swim. Could you allow me to ride on your back and cross together with you?” asked the scorpion.
“But you are scorpion; and scorpions sting frogs. I cannot do that. If I will let you on my back, halfway on the river, you will sting me and die.” replied the frog.
“Hold it! Hold it! As if you are not thinking. If I will sting you, I will get drown and die with you. I am a scorpion and I cannot swim.” replied the scorpion.
The frog thought to himself that the scorpion was right; they will get drowned if the scorpion stings him as they cross the river. So the frog said, “Ok, then. You have a valid reason. Come on my back and let’s cross. Just don’t sting me.”
“Of course, I will not sting you.” replied the scorpion.
So the scorpion climb up on the frog’s back and they went on to cross the river. Sure enough, halfway on the river, the scorpion stings the frog.
The frog’s arms and legs became numb and cannot move. As the frog goes down deep on the water, he asked, “Why did you sting me? Now, we are both going to get drowned and die.”
The scorpion replied, “What can I do? I am a scorpion. And scorpions sting frogs.”
The Application of the story
What can we learn from this story? How can this apply to our present lives?
You may have experienced this yourself without even knowing. This is indeed, very common to us here abroad.
Here’s an example. A friend or a friend of your friend comes to you begging on her knees asking to borrow money from you. She says that she needed money badly for emergency. Her son or daughter has to pay the school, to pay for the hospitalization of a family member, to pay for the mortgage of her apartment or condominium, and other life-to-death situations. She promises you that she will repay this coming salary. Whether you know or not that she has problems on paying back her loans, out of your pity you cash-out your hard-earned money. That money is supposed to be allotted for your Emergency fund but you lend it to her anyway. You felt like you are a hero; you saved someone’s life or redeemed somebody from oblivion! Your heart is overjoyed.
But here now is the problem. When she’s got the money, the day of your sufferings begin. Every time you ask for the payback, she will give all the excuses in the world. And much worse, she even gets mad at you when you ask her to pay you back. She will even curse you, point finger in the sky and tell you that you have no pity at all. Now it is you who is begging on your knees to return the money she owed you!
Why is it like that? Well, you’ve just bumped up with a person who doesn’t know how to pay. And that’s the way it is. There are people who know how to pay, and there are people who do not know how to pay. And those people who don’t know how to pay are the scorpions who sting and cause devastation unto your peaceful life.
So you must be better equipped when another scorpion is coming by!
The promised solution
As I promised, I will share what I found out how you can make a valid reason not to lend your hard-earned money. Especially if you know she’s another scorpion, of course. So here it is:
If you have read my post regarding the 10, 10, 10 and 70 Formula, you will notice that I put the three 10s on top of my list. That’s because, it’s better to pay yourself first then pay others with what’s left; not the other way around.
Let’s have a quick review how this formula works.
For all you earn, by labor or by gift, you will set aside:
- the first 10 for the church and charity – this is for giving back from what you received;
- the next 10 for active capital – this is for your investment to a business;
- the next 10 for passive capital – this is for your investments to financial instruments like stocks, unit trusts or mutual funds.
These allocations are just suggestions; you can adjust according to your current situation. These three should be at the top of the allocations of all you earn. These will be paid first before anything else. And once you paid it, it means the money is not already yours. Although technically, the last two tens are yours but you treated it as expenses because you paid it forward for yourself. They maybe seating in a business or investment account under your name, but they are not at your disposal at this time because they were earmarked for your future disposal.
- The last 70 is what you can all spend as to whatever of your liking.
So if you want to loan all of this part of your allocation, you can go ahead and make your day. Just don’t forget that the payment for your rent or mortgage, the food and other necessities for your family will come from this allotment. I think it will not be noble to lend all the 70% of your earnings then let your family to sacrifice of not eating in one month.
As I said, this is just a suggestion. You can always decide for yourself with what you are going to do with your earnings. It is always at your own free will, it’s your life.